Sitting at home, longing for the faraway resources of my beloved Halvorson music library, hoping that Gallica will load this issue of Le Figaro before my cat tries to jump on the keyboard again (it’s happened, and she knows how to close tabs), it occurred to me that research is equal parts psychological and academic undertaking.
The perfectionist in me likes to complete tasks not just well enough, but to the best of my ability and as thoroughly as possible. The perfectionist in me likes to make clear, measurable progress and know when she is done. Research is unkind to my inner perfectionist.
With each paper we’ve turned in, I wonder if I could have found just a few more primary sources, or tried a bit harder to track down that elusive article. I’ve found myself wondering what parts of the process even count as doing research. Is the most important part tracking down sources on Catalyst, JSTOR, ProQuest, Interlibrary Loan? Is it reading critically, squeezing every piece of evidence possible out of what you already have?
Now more than ever, I want (need?) to feel that I’m Accomplishing Important Things. So it’s hard not to feel discouraged when I can’t say for sure what I’ve gained from two hours of poring over dissertations and chasing down dead-end citations. Poulenc’s Sonata for Clarinet and Bassoon was written relatively early in his compositional career, and, considering its limited treatment in many of his biographies, is not among his most well-researched or widely performed works.
But eventually, patterns start to emerge. Sources work together. The Google Books preview happens to contain just the section I need. I plan to examine the piece through the lense of nationality, and address whether Poulenc’s admiration and adoption of Stravinsky’s style added or detracted from the piece’s “Frenchness.”
In the meantime, I implore my morale to return, my cat to stay away, and Gallica to please, for the love of Wagner, Debussy, and everyone in between, make their website easier to navigate.