I like my cases like I like my coffee: dark and bitter, with a little grit at the end. So when the dame stepped into my office, I thought she looked promising. Any dick worth his badge (or worth his pay, if he\u2019s in my line of work) could tell she was out for blood. She had a look on her face that belonged on a wolf \u2013 her eyes were narrow, her teeth slightly bared, and there was gray hair on her cheeks. I asked how she wanted me to address her; I won\u2019t take a case from someone who won\u2019t give me a name. That kind of work belongs to button men and other, harder types.<\/p>\n
She spoke in a rough tenor \u2013 maybe she\u2019d had a few smokes too many, back when she could call herself beautiful. As it was, she looked about as pretty as an old country highway: thick and curved, but rugged around the edges, and filled with years of pits and grooves.<\/p>\n
\u201cHowe,\u201d she managed, and then fell silent.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t consider patience a virtue, but I needed the dough. \u201cYes,\u201d I replied, \u201cthat\u2019s what I asked. How should I address you, Miss?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. That\u2019s my name. Howe.\u201d This was turning into something out of Abbott and Costello. I waited for her to go on, but she had clammed up tighter than, well, a clam.<\/p>\n
I started thinking maybe there might be more to this than the simple work-him-over stint I was expecting; most rough-looking Dames are after nothing more than a bit of revenge, either on some other dame or on someone who\u2019s been with some other dame. I\u2019m not too picky about my cases this time of year.<\/p>\n
When I saw she was having trouble collecting her wits, as happens with most dames, I decided to throw her a line.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Miss, what can I do for you?\u201d That\u2019s always a good way to start. Most dames will perk up when a body\u2019s polite. This one was no exception.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve got a joint I want you to dig around in. Dirty work, but the money\u2019s clean. \u201d<\/p>\n
The case seemed clear enough, but I wasn\u2019t about to walk into an alley with no light. \u201cNow Miss, some dicks\u2019ll work on less than that, but not me. I need to know the particulars: where is this joint, who owns it, how old is it, what\u2019s it used for and all that. What\u2019s the dirt on your \u2018building?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Her eyes managed to narrow even further, and when she spoke again, her tone was changed. \u201cThose questions are the reason why I want your services, Mr. Keen. I want you to find the answers.\u201d She paused. \u201cI\u2019ll tell you, the building is located approximately 20 minutes from a small Turkish town called Gazipa\u015fa. It is a potential monastery and has two rooms, one of which has already been excavated. Besides some confusingly ordered rafter holes and burned pottery, which suggest a large fire that collapsed the roof, the last P.I. didn\u2019t find much, which is why I\u2019ve come to you. I want you to look into the other room, whose only currently visible features are a ramshackle wall and some oddly shaped bedrock, and see if you can sort out precisely what you asked: its function, as well as its age and purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n
This case wasn\u2019t shaping up the way I thought it would. Her tone was changing. She was telling me more than I’d asked for, and I didn’t like the sound of “the last P.I.;” when it’s between my head and my gut, I always go with my gut. I told her I wasn\u2019t up for the case. She told me to go to hell. Next thing I knew, she had two goons slipping through my door \u2013 they had hands as big as hubcaps, but greasier. I tried to do some fast talking with my .45, but he couldn’t\u00a0get a word in before the gorillas started playing percussion with my skull. The last thing I heard before lights out was the dame laughing, \u201cmy building has no dirt on it, Mr. Keen, only soil.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I like my cases like I like my coffee: dark and bitter, with a little grit at the end. So when the dame stepped into my office, I thought she looked promising. Any dick worth his badge (or worth his pay, if he\u2019s in my line of work) could tell she was out for blood. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1408,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-research-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Iz8A-ni","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1408"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1444"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1444\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1449,"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1444\/revisions\/1449"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.stolaf.edu\/antiochia2014\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}